Unanswered Questions

Two weeks ago I was assisting a student during his mixed media art class when, from across the room, I heard another student exclaim, "Wow! This is REALLY good!" The words were pure and refreshing. It's not often you hear such positivity echoing through the classroom of a high school; it's even more rare that those words were uttered about the student's own work and talents, not those of a peer. The statement, while simple, was impactful. This girl was pleased with herself. She was honestly proud of her artwork. She valued her talents and recognized her hard work. She was doing the opposite of what, sadly, I've come to expect working in a school. And she should have been; her piece was incredible. 

As I went through the remainder of the day these words stayed with me. It put a smile on my face and I enjoyed reflecting on the moment. But a day later, I was still thinking about the situation. Then two days, three, four... and two weeks later the words have become embedded themselves in the forefront of my thoughts. I've spent two weeks acknowledging that this was a unique situation and one that resonated with me. Well, curiosity finally has me considering this more carefully. If anything hangs with you for this long, it's probably worth investigating. 

Why is it that I can't let this go? In order to answer that question, you (and I) need a little more of the backstory.

As I've learned this semester, art students are required to critique their own work and the work of their peers. While this is conducted in a variety of formats, it is common for the students to put their artwork on display and sit while the remainder of the class analyses it with brutal honesty. While I value the process, I am often stunned at the resilience these young people display when they're carefully crafted compositions are shredded by their peers. There is a civility present in the exercise, but the critiques are raw.

Two days ago the girl who was so pleased with her work when she deemed it complete just days before took to the front of the group. Normally my student does not participate in these critiques, but as we were in-between projects we decided to listen in. The timing was perfect as I was curious to see how the work and the student were treated. What I saw helped me understand why the original situation had impacted me so greatly. 

I sat for 10 minutes and listened to fifteen students offer (constructive) criticism on every single aspect of the girl's work. She sat, composed and attentive, listening to every word. She displayed incredible grace and dignity as she heard dozens of comments on how the work she'd once deemed exceptional could be improved upon. This color wasn't right. The framing wasn't right. She should have done this. She ought to do that. Why would she have used that color? The matting didn't really "fit". The lettering could have been..... The critiques - while offered in an attempt to help - were hurled without hesitation from every direction. To her credit the student was, on the outside, composed and strong. But...

How did she really feel? I recognize that she understood that her work would be subjected to the critical eye of other budding artists, but I question how the newly imposed perspective on her work - a perspective that differed greatly from her own - impacted her. Did the critique change her feeling on her work? Did she still think it was excellent or did she now see flaws in her work? Did she still respect the time, effort, and talent that went into the work or was she focused on the perceived imperfections? My questions were endless. And, tonight, they remain that way: numerous and unanswered. 

What I do know is that this girl is not alone. We all face this situation in our lives and I realize now that my fascination with this story has grown out of this connection. How can we see value in ourselves while facing a barrage of critiques? How can we maintain a sense of satisfaction with ourselves - the same enthusiasm a high school student might express upon completing their best work to date - when the world is busy highlighting our flaws? At what point is good to me good enough? When do we turn off the outside noise and honor ourselves for what we can do rather than what we can't?

Again, the solution escape me and I'm left tonight - as I was two days ago in class - with numerous, unanswered questions.