My National Championships Decision

Three weeks ago, as I sat inside a race volunteer's SUV doing my best to keep my blood off his leather seats, all I could think about was how my season was over. Maybe, I thought, I could make a respectable comeback by Pumpkinman. Everything before that seemed like a lost cause. It was only minutes after a crash, but I was obviously in bad shape and I couldn't imagine being able to train well enough leading up to USAT Age Group National Championships to make the race worth it. On the trip home I discussed my thoughts with Eileen. I don't know if she was just sick of listening to me complain or truly optimistic, but she told me not to worry about it and that I'd be fine. There was a lot of eye rolling on my part (paired with me holding up various bandaged body parts to remind her of the state I was in). By the time we reached Maine I was convinced that the entire season was done. I think she'd stopped listening. At the very least she was pretending to ignore me in hopes that I'd stop talking about it (or maybe just stop talking in general). It's probably not a coincidence that the pain had really set in by this time, because my attitude had gone from negative to outright angry.

 A week later, not much had changed. I'd been able to do some light running, but I was still at least a week out from getting back in the water and I couldn't ride my bike until my hands healed enough to grip the bars. I was still angry. Then, when I finally managed to get on my bike, the pain was incredible. The pain from those first two post-crash rides brought me to the verge of tears. Insert even more anger and frustration. Any hope I had of competing again in 2011 seemed to be fading fast. But I kept running and other than one minor setback, things seemed to come along okay. A slight lift in attitude accompanied my workouts. And then I was able to get back in the pool. Other than a little rust from two weeks without swimming, I seemed to be doing alright in the water. Obviously I must have been thinking about racing again at that point because I ordered a new race suit the same afternoon (I have three perfectly good ones at home, but I was a huge fan of my De Soto ITU suit that lasted all of 1.5 races before getting shredded). Two days later I made it through a short ride without any pain. Until then I'd totally written off National Championships and was just waiting to the last minute pull out. But I held off, figuring I'd see how my next few workouts went and silently hoping that I'd be able to train and compete respectably. Each day this week brought along a bit more confidence as I got back into some actual training. Monday night I figured I'd be in great shape for Pumpkinman, but planned to skip Burlington. Tuesday I felt really good about Pumpkinman and everything else surrounding it, but was undecided on what to do about Nationals. Same feelings on Wednesday. Then, this afternoon, Stephen sent me off to the track for some speed work. When I'd first seen the workout earlier in the day I knew it was sort of a make-or-break session as far as my National Championship start was concerned. The race isn't for another two weeks, but I figured that if this workout didn't show that I was on the right track then it was time to officially set my sights on the late-season races. Of course, the fact that the deadline to pull out and get a partial refund for Nationals is tomorrow was a factor. I don't have the cash to be throwing money away on races I don't start so if I wasn't going to race, I was at least going to get some cash back. 

I pretty much stunned myself on the track, going considerably faster than I thought possible given everything I'd gone through in the past few weeks. My times were very similar to those I was putting up just before the crash. Obviously I hadn't gotten any faster, but it seems that I haven't gotten any slower either. As I set out on the 2 mile cool down at the end of the workout I was amazed at how I could be at this point in such a short time. Eileen, Stephen, my parents, everyone in my "camp" kept telling me things would come back quickly and I should just see how things played out. I listened, but I don't think I ever really thought it was possible to get ready for Nationals. I was never willing to just go and complete the race - I knew all along I could do that, but had no interest in just coasting around the course. If I was going to go, I was going to go in shape and ready to race. Amazingly, that's exactly what I intend to do.

Note to self: Keep the rubber side down...

Mass State Triathlon
Olympic Distance
July 17, 2011

Only one thing worth writing about happened during Mass State on Sunday: I crashed. Hard. And it hurt. A lot.

Before that, however, I had a phenomenal swim. I went 19:51 for the 1.5k swim and came out if the water in 3rd (well 5th once all the waves were considered). I was flying and things really could not have been going better. Then I hit transition and got through in about 43 seconds or so, leaving most of the other contenders behind and getting out on the bike course first. The first loop of the bike - perfect. I was moving nicely, sitting in second place and setting myself up for a great run and overall finish. Then it all went downhill...

On a long downhill just a few miles before transition I forgot the number one rule in the cyclists handbook - keep the rubber side down. An important thing to overlook, actually. I was on a fast downhill section over some pretty rough pavement. We'd been warned about the roads ahead of time, but I'd picked a good line on the first loop and was riding within my limits. I was going fast, but not so much that I was being reckless. Then, and I can't explain how I didn't see it, I hit a bump in the road about the size of half a basketball and went airborne. Everything seemed to slow down and I was far too aware of the inevitable outcome of the situation. Things stayed that way as my tires hit the pavement and I started to wobble. Though I was still upright, I was not at all in control of my bike. Then the slow-motion effect vanished and someone pressed the fast forward button. I don't recall actually hitting the pavement. I vividly remember sliding along on my right side before tumbling over and over a few times. Everything was numb and I was able to get to my feet and off the road rather quickly. Unaware of how bad things were, I began so scan the road for my bike. Eventually I spotted it about 20 yards down the hill and on the other side of the road. I stumbled over to it just as a car pulled up to check on me. It wasn't until the couple got out of the SUV that I realized how messed up I was. I don't even know how to describe the looks on their faces. They gave me a cell phone and I tried to call Eileen back at the race venue. Then they helped me into the car where I sat for a moment until an official race vehicle came by. I opted to jump in that car as they had easier access to the park and the ambulance. Both the guys from the race and the people who stopped to help were amazing and I can't thank them enough for the help they offered.

On the ride back to the park I couldn't decide which emotion was most appropriate for the situation. Part of me was embarrassed for crashing at all. But accidents happen, I guess and it wasn't as if I did anything  stupid to cause the crash. It was just one of those things that happen sometimes when you ride a bike. I moved to disappointment next. I was racing so well and was on my way to one of the best finishes in my career. I was also worried about training and racing in the coming weeks. That hasn't passed and I'm still anxious to see what happens in that department. For the most part, though, I've settled on an it-is-what-it-is attitude. I crashed. It happens and there's nothing I can do to undo it now. I just need to recover as quickly as possible and make the best of my training leading up to National Championships.

Minutes later I was back at the lake waving Eileen over to the ambulance. For the moment I was still numb and not fully aware of how much road rash covered my body. That changed about 7 seconds after stepping into the ambulance. The pain of the wounds being washed out was incredible. And it lasted forever. I'm glad they were there and able to help, but it was so painful. Eventually, they sent me on my way and I was able to throw on a pair of shorts to cover up as my race suit wasn't doing much in that department anymore.

Eileen drove me home and then the pain of cleaning everything out started all over again, this time just with more screaming. Turns out I did damage in the form of road rash to my right ankle, right leg from knee to hip (including my backside), lower abs on the right side, right ribs, a bit on my back, the underside or my right forearm, and both palms. The palms really sent me over the edge. I can deal with everything else, but not having use of my hands is terrible. And even worse, it's by far the most painful spot.

Today was okay. I'm still in pain, but at least things are healing. I was fortunate that things weren't worse. I managed not to hit my head, I didn't break any bones, and my bike (and race wheels) seemed to have survived. At first I didn't think that was the case, but after a little tune-up today (with Craig's help given that I couldn't really use my hands) things seem functional and most of the damage, like to my body, was cosmetic. I'm also very thankful to all the people who were there to help me out on Sunday. The couple that stopped, the guys from the race that drove me back to the park, and the 2 women in the ambulance were helpful and comforting. Eileen, though not fond of blood or skinless body parts, has done a great job taking care of me. Same for my parents and brother.

So, for now I'm just staying as comfortable as possible and focusing on getting myself back to regular training as quickly as possible. If I can get myself healthy and into the same (or better) shape than I was this weekend, I should be fast at National Championships.